I’m a Mess No More!
A few months ago I broke down. I was a spluttering mess, tears that wouldn’t stop and snot bubbles that would give the Blair Witch Project a run for its money. If it wasn’t so pathetic it would have been hilarious.
I had not long gone from being a full time stay at home mum to my boys and wanting another baby to going back to school, going back to work as a chef, building a house and having so much study to do that I barely left my desk. I hardly recognised my life anymore with so much going on. It seems I missed out on so much time with my kids. In retrospect; I wasn’t missing out that much. My eldest started school this year so he wouldn’t have been home anyway, my husband was still going to work as does and my youngest … well he is really the only one who it has had a reasonable effect. He now gets to go to childcare/preschool 2 days a week which has been a great benefit to him because he is gaining incredible social skills that he wouldn’t have gotten at home.
I however seemed overwhelmed. My life had changed so much, so quickly.
When did that happen? How did that happen? What was I thinking?
Even as I write this I’m shaking my head in disbelief. There was no logic in why I was so upset. What mum doesn’t want some time to herself? Some independence?
Normally however my idea of time to myself is getting my hair done or going out for lunch. Mind you I would settle for an empty bathroom that I can go to the toilet in peace in but as all us mums know that happens about as often as the cleaning fairy visiting for free or just plain visiting!
I don’t typically get overwhelmed or tearful. I’m tough! Or so I thought. My husband hugged me and gave me the support I needed, we talked and I cried and then I cried some more. I later came to the conclusion that I had yet again under estimated my ability. I had myself believing I couldn’t do it all.
I CAN!
I took a step back, wiped my eyes, popped those snot bubbles and got on with it. I am exceeding any possible expectation I could have dreamed of. Don’t get me wrong it isn’t easy; it is extremely hard work but since that night I have let my stress go (or as much as one can) and have taken on even more.
What else? Well…..
I also started this little blog. When I get the feeling of “please everyone just get the hell away from me and leave me alone” I start to write. I write for my blog, I write for you wonderful fans, I write for my sanity. I write for me! It is my release.
For this I am grateful.
What is your release? How do you cope with or overcome stress?
im still trying to find my release after having my 2nd baby and having other things in my life that was not needed when i had a newborn , i broke down and suffered greatly from anxiety, went to the doctor and even had to see a phycologist, it somewhat helped except i have a logical brain and can understand that the thing im getting upset about it isnt as bad as im making it out to be , but even knowing this didnt help, until one day i was flicking through the channels on tv and got stuck on one and it wasnt anything i have watched before and probably wouldnt watch again , i cant even remember the name of the show, but those few words he said stuck with me (it was a travel show) he said ‘these people live in a world where they have no needs therefore they dont get stressed when they dont get it ‘ , they were monks and while im not going to upend my life and become a monk , i took away from it to look into buddhism and even did a saturday course at my local community college…to cut a long reply somewhat shorter…meditation is my release…but only to a certain extent…i havent perfected the NOT LETTING ENTER YOUR MIND WHILE MEDITATING…but i am getting better….sorry for the very long winded reply
Never mind the long reply – you just have a lot of comment love to share. Thank you for your response and I’m glad you have found something that makes you feel better
What an inspirational post! Sometimes it takes moments like these (snot bubbles and all) for me to reset and get back on track too..I just loved your positive attitude!
Yeah what can I say the snot bubbles were definately the highlight of that night ;p
Thank you for being so supportive of my post. It means more then you know. xx
Good on you for recognizing that something was wrong and you were able to step back and evaluate. It’s amazing that the busier we are, the busier we can be! Woo hoo for the blog. Best hobby ever:-)
Chantel x #teamIBOT
I am very surprised at how much mums can manage at once. The more that gets thrown our way the more we seem to be able to do. I think sometimes we all need to take a step back and reassess our work load.
Thanks for commenting Chantel
I write too. I just love it, and there is nothing quite like it.
In fact a sad day for me is when I dont have anything to write!
I’m glad you’re making it work. Good on you
Thanks Jess. I know you write and you do an amazing job!! Don’t you ever stop (I’ll be lost!)
Cuddles are good when I’m stressed (either from husband or kids), plus I try to spend some time in quiet to pray & (once the kids have gone to bed) play the piano.
Cuddles are great but for me they make me cry more. Can anyone say snot bubble marathon? hehehe
I blog too… it’s my equilibrium in my crazy nutty days.
It makes me feel like someone is listening… so therapeutic!
I hope your ups continue!
hahaha yeah I feel like someone is listening too. Its funny how it works but as soon as you hit the post button a huge weight lifts. Whether people comment or not (its always nicer when they do) you know someone has read it
Aww hun how sad
I remember what it was like to go back to work! Master A was only 4 months old and I was soooo not ready. Quitting 2 months ago was the best thing I could have done for him, but now I kind of feel a little lost, like I have no direction. So I’ve started studying. Usually when I’m stressed I organise and do a clean out!
Lets just say I cannot wait until I have finished my study!! I’m so over it but only have about 8 months to go til I’m done. YAY!!
Sometimes when I feel like that, I just need to have a little nanna nap or an early night. My hubster even knows the signs now and says, “I think you need to have a sleep” and sends me to bed LOL!
Hahaha I have never even thought of having a sleep. For some reason the crying and puffy eyes helps me – it’s kind of like a slight release and then the writing rids the rest! Will have to give the nanna nap a go next time though
I am glad you turned it around and see the positives.
I’ve been running to release my stress and choosing to run for a good cause has made it even more so.
I would run if I could but lack the motivation! I used to before kids but no more. Can I eat for a good cause? Im getting great at that :p
We do have to remind ourselves of the positives but we also have to watch our limits. We can’t do everything. Wishing you all the best with everything you have on your busy plate. Thanks for linking up with Twinkle in the Eye
When I push myself too far for too long I generally get sick so here is to hoping that I can slow down a little before it gets to that
Thanks for commenting.
I totally understand this feeling. Glad you found your release. Blogging certainly does it for me
Thanks for making me feel understood. Love your blog by the way