confidence – All Mum Said

Dressing For A New Beginning

Thu, 01 Aug 2013 21:00:21 +0000

Finding something to wear after you have a baby that makes you feel anything other than frumpy, daggy or still pregnant is hard to come by. It doesn’t matter how many babies you have had previously it is always the same feeling of – I have lived in these clothes the entire pregnancy and they are now so stretched out or I am sick of the sight of the items in my wardrobe. As I have previously mentioned in other posts I have practically lived in the same dresses, pair of shorts and skirt for the last 6 months of my pregnancy and I was wanting to leave the hospital in something that was as new as my baby girl. Something I’d never worn before. A new start.

You will have heard me mention my love for the brand i&u (innovation and you) that has recently changed to Laila & Spot. The dresses I lived (and to be honest, still live in) when I was pregnant are the maxi dresses from i&u. I know they are great quality and are made to last so I didn’t hesitate in jumping over to the new Laila and Spot website as soon as I heard they had extended their range. I proudly wore home one of their skirts which I’m so glad to have taken to the hospital with me; after having my bub via C-section I wanted to wear something that didn’t put too much pressure on my wound. The skirt has no zips, buttons or elastic jabbing or digging in which made it perfect. It is very comfortable and because I got it in black it goes with everything – obviously it’s now a staple piece. It does come in 3 colours but I thought black would be the safer option for me to start. Oh and they are only $40.

I have also been wearing the leggings which have been great for this crazy cold and windy weather we’ve been having. They are so soft and comfortable (almost like you aren’t wearing pants but you’re warm). Hahaha. They come in 2 styles – full length and ¾ length. I opted for the full length being winter I thought they’d be perfect with dresses, long tops, tunics and of course boots. These are also great for after having a C-section as they also have no elastic at the front (don’t worry about them falling down though there is some elastic through the back to prevent this!). I love how versatile these are and that for only $30 the quality is better than some I’ve paid triple that for.

Like I mentioned above and in previous posts I love their maxi dresses. They are great to breastfeed in and the design cannot be flawed. Truth be told I own 3 of their maxis (2x black and 1x blue) along with a shorter black version. Now that they have changed to Laila & Spot and expanded their range they have now got a two-tone dress that is also designed for breastfeeding. They look great and like the maxis I have are made from bamboo. I am currently waiting on 2 of these to arrive from the postman. I ordered one in each colour. I think it’s fair to say I love Laila & Spot and obviously the contents of my wardrobe show that. It is basically the only brand in there!

Check out their facebook and website. You won’t regret it!

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Pregnancy is NOT all glamour

Tue, 14 May 2013 07:00:28 +0000

Pregnancy is not all glamour and perfect glowing skin. I know many expectant mothers are under the illusion that pregnancy brings so many wonderful experiences and benefits. I’ll admit it does bring with it some of the most amazing experiences a woman could ever imagine however it doesn’t always come with no strings attached. I’ve personally learnt that sometimes you do really have to take the good with the bad and learn to accept the changes that have occurred; things that may never be the same again.

A friend of mine was expecting nothing but radiant glowing skin, a perfectly round belly and complete and utter joy. This was not the case for her and I’m sure many other women out there are expecting one thing but end up experiencing something completely different. Mood swings, the amount of changes to her body, lack of sex drive and being uncomfortable are not things she expected and because she had this expectation of the perfect pregnancy her journey has not been as joyous it could have been. I am a little nervous about publishing this post as I share images of my body that have taken me an extremely long time to come to terms with and accept that is what I’ve been dealt. 6 years to be exact!

My body has gone through a transformation that could be described (and has been by me in the past) as nothing short of complete and utter destruction. I was blessed with beyond ridiculous stretchmarks and a flap of excess skin on my lower belly due to the size of my beloved children and their C-sections.

This current pregnancy the damage has been increased and has presented itself in the form of varicose and spider veins. They are not only unattractive but they can be extremely painful and spread like fuel to fire. They started near my knee and have spread up my thigh and down to my ankle, on the bright side at least they have only taken over one leg. Apparently they get worse with each pregnancy so I think it is safe to say this will be my last baby.

*26 years old and I have legs like this!*

It isn’t all bad though; I have experienced the radiant glow of an expectant mother, the ability to feel my baby grow and be nurtured inside me, the perfectly round (as huge as it may be) pregnant belly and of course the joy that motherhood brings. I’m not saying it has all been sunshine and rainbows but I have learnt to appreciate what I have. I can say I am more comfortable with my body now that I have acknowledged and accepted that it has done an incredible job creating and protecting my children.

I would like to let every woman out there who is suffering from poor pregnancy body image (before and after) that even though your body may no longer be perfect to you, it doesn’t mean it isn’t amazing. I have shared my images to let you all know that you are not alone and there is no reason to be ashamed, embarrassed, disgusted or disappointed in your body. It is strong, incredible and deserves credit for the hard work it has done – without it you wouldn’t have the little people who now or soon will call you mum.

TOTALLY WORTH IT!

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Letter To My First Born

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 00:35:00 +0000

My dear boy,

Today is your 6^th birthday and during the years you have been with us you have bought so much to our lives. Before you made your entry into this world you already your father and me re-evaluating our priorities and thankfully we matured (a lot). Your dad and I were only young when we discovered you were well on your way to becoming our first born baby that we love so much.

I don’t know where the years have gone, it seems like it was such a short time ago you were playing peek-a-boo, taking your first steps, climbing on everything, feeding yourself for the first time and drawing on the wall with crayons, squeezing baby powder over everything and now you are about to begin year 1, you can read and write and you are a wonderful, caring and kind big brother.

The list is endless of hilarious things you have said and the infinite ways you have embarrassed your father and me in public. What are kids for right? There was the day at pre-school when you were learning about how dangerous snakes were and you piped up saying that’s a trouser snake! Or when you couldn’t say crocodile properly and continued calling them cock-diles.

You have tested my patients beyond anything I could have ever anticipated and yet showed me so much love. Your little kisses, hugs, smiles, confidence, sense of self and simple ‘I love you’ make it all worth it.

Happy Birthday Declan.

We love you to the sun and back. xx

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Forgive Me Hairdresser!

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 22:00:00 +0000

Forgive Me Hairdresser!

Forgive me hairdresser, it has been 6 months since my last cut and colour! My split ends are extreme and I look very similar to a skunk (only reversed). I am ashamed of how bad I have let this become and promise tomorrow I will rectify the damage I have caused.

Image Credit
This is me but in reverse and not as fancy or well known!
Oh and of course I smell like freshly cut flowers.

I know that I am not alone when it comes to feeling the want, the desire, the need to refresh and change something! For so many this is simply accomplished by a change of hair colour, a cut, a facial, etc. I am no different! I love nothing more than going to the hairdresser with no idea what to get done and then leaving looking and feeling like a completely different person. I love the confidence a new cut and colour can instantly bring. I go from feeling tired, exhausted and boring to self-assured, sexy and ready to take on anything besides the rain or wind that may destroy my perfectly styled hair!

My problem (and I’m sure there will be so many others in the same boat) is that I don’t go nearly as often as I should or would like to for one reason or another. The main culprits are lack of time one week and no money the next but not this week!!

Image credit

My appointment is made and I am going to get sexified and a bloody good head massage (which I should add never goes for long enough!) I have no idea what colour I’m going to get, I was thinking red but as I have blonde currently I’m not sure that’s a great idea – bring on pink says my 15 year old self! Not sure if I’ll get it cut short or keep some length and I tend not to really think about it too much. I like the surprise!

I am also wondering is it just me or are there other Mums out there who would just like the hairdressers to shut up occasionally? Don’t get me wrong, I love a little bit of chatter – how are the kids, what have you been up to, etc. But I personally love nothing more than enjoying my coffee in peace and quiet! It is really the only time I am away from everyone at home and don’t HAVE to speak. I enjoy some quiet!

Do you plan what cut/style and colour you are going to get before you arrive or do you wing it like me?

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Starting your career later on in life – Tips for getting back into the workforce after kids

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 23:30:00 +0000

Today I am excited to say I have got my very first ever guest posting on the blog.

She is talented and full of information!

Starting your career later on in life – Tips for getting back into the workforce after kids

It’s never too late to live your dream!

Many mums out there take extended time off from working life to look after their kids, and indeed the time you spend watching your children grow and learn during the crucial early years is some of the most rewarding time you’ll spend in your whole life.

But if you’re feeling like it’s time for you to get out of your trackies and back into your suit (or smart casual workplace attire), then here are some practical tips on how to make the transition back into the workforce – whether you’re returning to the same industry you worked in before you left, or taking the plunge into a completely new type of work.

Efficiency is key!

Determine whether you are in a position to be able to transition back to work slowly. Look into working part-time or working a couple of days a week at first. If this is not an option, talk to your boss about working from home. Many companies encourage flexible work arrangements, with most organisations often finding such arrangements to be the most effective in terms of employee productivity. This could mean having the flexibility to do the afternoon school pick up and then working again into the night after the kids have hit the sack. Talk to your boss about finding an arrangement that makes the most effective use of your time.

Ask for help

Getting back to the workforce is hard enough as it is. But add kids to the mix, and family obligations and responsibilities can seem like a insurmountable mountain you never get on top of. Try divvying up chores and responsibilities with your partner. This could mean having your partner fix dinners in the evening while you get the children ready in the morning. Frank and clear communication is key in letting them know you need help in managing work with household responsibilities (don’t expect any mind reading here!). Discuss with your partner a concrete plan about how the responsibilities should be divided. If you are a divorced parent, re-entering the workforce can seem like even more of a daunting challenge. Don’t be afraid to ask for child support in order to arrange childcare and babysitting services to help take care of the load and get back on your feet. After all, you are entitled to it!

Know that it will be tough

Many women, upon returning to the workforce, find themselves ridden with guilt at having to leave their children at home. The first couple of weeks (even months) can be an emotional and physical roller coaster. Understand that feelings of sadness and anxiety are perfectly normal and try to find your own ways to make the transition smoother (perhaps video Skype the babysitter during lunch, place photos of your kids on your desk, talk to other mothers at work too see how they coped etc). Ultimately, don’t forget to enjoy the joys and challenges of this new chapter in your working career and remember to reach out for help. Of the millions of working mothers out there, chances are, there is one that has felt just the same way you do at one point or another!

Author Bio: Aliyah Lee is a stay-at-home mum and a financial advisor in her previous life. She enjoys finding creative ways of getting the most out of child support payments.

“This guest post was brought to you by Watts McCray”

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Part 2 – The Result of the Lesson

Tue, 29 May 2012 00:07:00 +0000

The Result of the Lesson

It has been a bit over a week since I went all hard core and stripped Ds’ room down to nothing more than a mattress. How has he gone you ask? Has he learnt anything or was it a complete and utter waste of my time? Well this is how the week went.

The day of destruction and the couple of days following were not received very pleasantly by Mr 5. Not only did he hate his stuff, he now had it in for C and me. Which is fine, I completely understood where he was coming from. In his eyes I was the bitch that took all his stuff (that he hated so much!) and gave it to nicer and more appreciative owners. His little brother K was one of these happy new owners.

After a few days he cooled off and asked if he could have his toys back. The answer was ‘No’. This lesson will not be learnt if I just give his stuff back; it would completely defeat the purpose of what I did. I stuck to my guns. This time however instead of getting angry and kicking the wall or throwing something (makes it easy as he had no toys to throw) he simply asked K if he could play with some of his toys. K obligingly said ‘yes’.

We explained to him how there are people who have nothing and still don’t complain, they make the most of life and appreciate what they have and what people give them. This stuff might not be new, it might not be food they like but it keeps them alive. We showed D clips from the Red Cross and Salvation Army to show him that some people have nothing and how he should be grateful we can afford the things we do.

After seeing that kids not much older than him have to sleep on the streets and eat out of rubbish bins so they don’t starve it was like something inside his head clicked. He saw an advert on one the clips asking for everyone to donate when the door knockers came around and he asked if he could. He got his money box, so did K and they got half of their money out ready to donate. All we needed now was door knockers.

Well, as you have probably read in my post last weekend the door knocker plan didn’t go so well. If you missed it you can read it here. D couldn’t understand why they refused to take his money when there were people who really needed it.

Ds’ attitude has changed dramatically (for now at least!) but it’s a step. He has been helping more with everyday things, helping his brother, tidying up after himself, etc. By day 4 he asked if I could put his bed back in his room. After his help the past couple of days I thought there is no harm in giving his bed back. C put it back together and he made his bed.

Day 5 he asked if he could have his toys back again, I told him that he will need to ask K if he can have any of them back. If K says no then you can’t. Luckily for D, his little brother can be very kind and gave him a few back. It wasn’t all the toys K choose to have but more so a handful of matchbox cars. D was overwhelmed, he hugged K and said ‘Thank you so much K, I love you’.

By this point I’m thinking something has sunk in. Before he would have kicked and screamed and carried on that he wanted such-and-such a toy but not now. He was just happy to have a few cars. This is the lesson I was trying to teach. It does however go even further than this. C sewed a button back onto Ds’ pyjama shirt (yes C is the sewer of the family!) and D couldn’t have been happier or cuter I must add. He went up to his father and said ‘Dad thank you for fixing my button, I really appreciate it!’

D has continued to be helpful around the house and his attitude has maintained its adjusted new found appreciation so we thought it would be fitting for him and K to take the money that they were going to so kindly donate and buy a toy with it. I added the coins I was going to donate so between the two of them they had $39 each to spend.

He almost cried when I told him he could have this money to buy a new toy. That is a step in the right direction if I don’t say so myself.

I had no idea in the beginning how this lesson would turn out. Would it backfire? I wasn’t sure but in my eyes it was worth a go. Now in part 1 of this story I mentioned I may lose a few followers and guess what? I did. I however bid them farewell, my parenting style works for my kids. They know when I say something I follow through. I don’t joke when it comes to them learning life lessons (yes I know they are young but in my opinion a child is never too young to start respecting).

So for now, I would have to say that this lesson has been taken on board and accepted. Lesson learnt! I know that this issue will arise again at some stage in the future and yes I will do the same thing again. For my kids and I, this works. It teaches them.

How do you teach your kids lesson in life? Does it work?

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Teaching a Lesson in Appreciation

Sun, 27 May 2012 01:21:00 +0000

Teaching a Lesson in Appreciation

This is more of a rant for me to blow off steam then it is a heart felt warm and fuzzy feeling post.

I would however love and appreciate any help, ideas, suggestions or heck even some vodka if your buying! (This post was actually written last weekend before the doorknockers came)

I have officially had enough! I thought I was raising my kids to be grateful and respect what they have but the message seems to have been squished and washed away like a bug on the windshield. My 5 year old who I must say is generally well behaved, has decided this last week that being a horrible devil child is more suited.

It only appears to be when he’s at home that his behaviour changes, when he’s at school he is very well behaved and excels. At home he presses my buttons within 30 minutes (easily) of me being awake. All of a sudden he HATES everything! If I ask him to do something, anything regardless what it is he responds with “I Hate ‘that’”.

How has this happened?

How has this happened so fucking quickly?

He has always been disciplined so he has never gotten away with this kind of shit. I am absolutely stumped as to why he has become this little ungrateful so and so all of a sudden. I did however take matters into my own hands today; I have plain and simply had enough! I’m over this attitude and he will learn the hard way. He has left me no choice.

I asked him to clean him room – “I hate my toys” so in the bin they went! (I let K (3) choose some that he wanted and then I took the rest to the Salvo’s so a child who will appreciate them can enjoy them). He has no toys left.

I asked him to make his bed – “I hate my bed” so I unbolted his bed and removed it from his room. He now has a mattress on the floor in his room.

Right now you may be thinking that I am a horrible mother and have taken things too far, I however would have to disagree. He is the kind of child who needs to be shown what it is like to have nothing before he can understand. He will learn to respect and appreciate what we have and how hard everyone has work to own and enjoy the things they do have.

K our 3 year old is respectful (for now at least) so I’m hoping this lesson will be learnt and learnt fast. I cannot go on feeling deflated and at a loss, his attitude towards um…. Well pretty much everything sucks. It just has to stop. I’m putting a stop to it – NOW!

Some of you (if you have made it this far) may stop following my blog because of my blunt honesty and parenting techniques and that is fine. I will not pretend to be the perfect parent with the most perfect kids. I am learning! It is trial and error for me as it is for so many other mums and dads.

Judge me or support me – it’s up to you but thank you in advance for the honest and non-judgemental people who decide to stick around with me.

RANT DONE!

In the next few days part 2 – The Result of the Lesson will be up. So if you stick around you will see if it worked or if I need to try something else.

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I’m A Mess No More!

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:00:00 +0000

I’m a Mess No More!

A few months ago I broke down. I was a spluttering mess, tears that wouldn’t stop and snot bubbles that would give the Blair Witch Project a run for its money. If it wasn’t so pathetic it would have been hilarious.

I had not long gone from being a full time stay at home mum to my boys and wanting another baby to going back to school, going back to work as a chef, building a house and having so much study to do that I barely left my desk. I hardly recognised my life anymore with so much going on. It seems I missed out on so much time with my kids. In retrospect; I wasn’t missing out that much. My eldest started school this year so he wouldn’t have been home anyway, my husband was still going to work as does and my youngest … well he is really the only one who it has had a reasonable effect. He now gets to go to childcare/preschool 2 days a week which has been a great benefit to him because he is gaining incredible social skills that he wouldn’t have gotten at home.

I however seemed overwhelmed. My life had changed so much, so quickly.

When did that happen? How did that happen? What was I thinking?

Even as I write this I’m shaking my head in disbelief. There was no logic in why I was so upset. What mum doesn’t want some time to herself? Some independence?

Normally however my idea of time to myself is getting my hair done or going out for lunch. Mind you I would settle for an empty bathroom that I can go to the toilet in peace in but as all us mums know that happens about as often as the cleaning fairy visiting for free or just plain visiting!

I don’t typically get overwhelmed or tearful. I’m tough! Or so I thought. My husband hugged me and gave me the support I needed, we talked and I cried and then I cried some more. I later came to the conclusion that I had yet again under estimated my ability. I had myself believing I couldn’t do it all.

I CAN!

I took a step back, wiped my eyes, popped those snot bubbles and got on with it. I am exceeding any possible expectation I could have dreamed of. Don’t get me wrong it isn’t easy; it is extremely hard work but since that night I have let my stress go (or as much as one can) and have taken on even more.

What else? Well…..

I also started this little blog. When I get the feeling of “please everyone just get the hell away from me and leave me alone” I start to write. I write for my blog, I write for you wonderful fans, I write for my sanity. I write for me! It is my release.

For this I am grateful.

What is your release? How do you cope with or overcome stress?

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