You know that moment your child says something that embarrasses you so much you just want crawl away somewhere and die hide? Most of us have had it happen more than once. My boys have been shockers for it but I must admit they have given me some pretty good stories over the years.

 

The most recent one being when they discovered sanitary pads; yep now you know it’s going to be good! It all started with the sound of mischievous laughter coming inside my bathroom. I walked in to discover that they got a kick out of sticking the pads all over the walls, shower screen and each other. They were discussing through giggles what the awesome sticky things were and came to the conclusion they were nappies. I told them they were not nappies but that sometimes mummy gets ‘sick’ and they help her get better. They are only 3 & 5 so I thought this was the most appropriate answer to give them at this point. They wouldn’t understand anything more than that and let’s face it anything more than that would have them scared shitless!

 

Anyway we went to the shops today; being the first day of school holidays and all I thought we could stock up on some craft and science supplies. We were walking up and down the aisles picking the items we needed and headed to the checkout. This is where B2 (my 3 year old) begins to tell the checkout man who looked like hay fever has got him a good one, that “My mum wears big people nappies when she is sick” (Not at all quietly I must mention!) I could instantly feel my cheeks burning into a bright red shade of embarrassment. I think he was trying to help the man by giving him ideas on how to get better but seriously!! Why can’t you keep your mouth shut child?

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP DOING THIS TO ME?

  What have your kids done or said to embarrass you lately?

I was thinking back to when I was pregnant and the number of things I forgot to do or let’s just say the biggest possible brain farts possible and they were in the hundreds. I had them all!I had a few doozies during my first pregnancy let me tell you; however there is one that stands out and it’s pretty safe to say I will never live it down. EVER.

 

I was about 5 months pregnant, was working 10 hours a day 6 days a week as a chef. I was exhausted. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. Anyway, one afternoon I was starving – fading away to a thick shadow and so I did what any food deprived hormonal woman would do. I grabbed a frozen pizza out of the freezer and put it into the preheated oven. I impatiently waited 20 minutes before eagerly opening the oven door, at which point I was thrown on my thrown by a burning plastic smell.

Oh wait a second, what the fuck has happened? There is plastic melting everywhere. The smell was something that can only be described as toxic.

So this baby brain moment was bought to you by a still left hungry and quite embarrassed bulging bellied girl.

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