support – All Mum Said http://allmumsaid.com.au Telling it like it is... Sun, 03 Apr 2016 14:01:25 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.4.2 http://i1.wp.com/allmumsaid.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/cropped-favicon.jpg?fit=32%2C32 support – All Mum Said http://allmumsaid.com.au 32 32 Sleep Deprived? You’re not the only one! http://allmumsaid.com.au/sleep-deprived-youre-not-the-only-one/ http://allmumsaid.com.au/sleep-deprived-youre-not-the-only-one/#respond Mon, 02 Sep 2013 12:25:19 +0000 http://madmummas.com/?p=2167 Sleep deprivation can be absolute torment and any mother/father with a baby who isn’t a fan of you getting a decent unbroken sleep will know this. As you all know I have a 12 week old baby girl (I know it has gone so fast!) and I am extremely lucky and grateful that she appreciates […]

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Sleep deprivation can be absolute torment and any mother/father with a baby who isn’t a fan of you getting a decent unbroken sleep will know this. As you all know I have a 12 week old baby girl (I know it has gone so fast!) and I am extremely lucky and grateful that she appreciates a good night sleep; so far anyway. My boys on the other hand would wake up a few times a night, not for any reason in particular just because and if truth be told not much has changed now that they are 6 and 4. I swear they just enjoy waking me up and seeing how much crap I can take on minimal sleep. I am not the only one and neither are you – there are parents everywhere suffering exactly this; which is why Bepanthen has a new campaign promoting Mummy’s Diaries series on YouTube where  mums share their experiences, feelings and basically how they get through the day. It is a great idea for new mums who are experiencing everything for the first time and feel like they can’t talk about it.

It has proven time and time again that mothers, fathers and other children that experience the unfortunate lack of sleep are all too familiar that it can cause waves of unexpected emotions, makes you feel lethargic and struggle to stay awake during the day and makes you less tolerant to those around you. Now obviously you cannot change whether or not you are woken in the middle of the night by babies or children however you can do a few things to help you get through the day. Get that hit of caffeine first thing in the morning (if breastfeeding remember don’t over-do the caffeine and consider substituting with a cold glass of water), get some fresh air and go for a walk (not only do you get to enjoy the sun but you will also be getting some exercise).20130902_221642

I know from experience that sleep deprivation can be an absolute nightmare but I have learnt to enjoy every second of this torture because they grow up way too fast and before you know it they will be teenagers and will be keeping you awake with a different kind of stress. They are only babies once – enjoy it!

This is a sponsored post but opinions are my own.

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GUEST POST – Not So Stereotypical…… http://allmumsaid.com.au/guest-post-not-so-stereotypical/ http://allmumsaid.com.au/guest-post-not-so-stereotypical/#comments Tue, 17 Jul 2012 21:00:00 +0000 http://madmummas.com/?p=158 A big thank you to Lisa for her guest post today. What do you immediately think of when you hear “Minister’sWife?” If you are like me, you might think of the overly social women whose house is always perfect and whose children are always well behaved, or the dowdy and dull little mouse who locks […]

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A big thank you to Lisa for her guest post today.

What do you immediately think of when you hear “Minister’sWife?” If you are like me, you might think of the overly social women whose house is always perfect and whose children are always well behaved, or the dowdy and dull little mouse who locks her kids away from those “other”children.
When I started writing my blog, Mummy’s Undeserved Blessings I wanted to create a blog where I could show other mums that even the perceived“perfect mummy”, the minister’s wife, didn’t always have it all together. A place where my honesty would allow others to feel they too could be honest about their struggles.
Most people who meet me for the first time are actually quite surprised to find out that I am a minister’s wife. I guess I don’t come across as either of the two stereotypes. I openly admit I am not perfect and my kids are far from perfect.
Some days, I would love to be the stereotype of the perfect mum with the perfect house. In reality I am the mum whose house is cluttered with toys and has crumbs on the bench. I am the mum who yells at her kids, then regrets it. I am the mum who (mildly) injures her child’s shoulder by yanking them when they were walking too slow (Yep- that happened!). I am the mum who spends too much time on the Internet and not enough time playing with her kids.
I think it is so important to be real with people. Too often we compare ourselves, or our skills as a mother to other people based on what we perceive them to be like. If I was to portray myself as the perfect mother with the perfect house, then I could never really be able to relate to others who might be struggling with self doubt or feelings of failure.
As mums our role is to love our kids and do the best WE can, too often we are trying to copy someone else and be the mother we THINK they are.
I think it is important to admit where you are failing (or feel you are failing) to others. It has a twofold effect as firstly it shows them that you are real, and secondly it allows them to admit where they are struggling to you without fear of judgement.
It is important to me to help other mums realise that it is ok to make mistakes. I remember times when I had been honest about how I was feeling towards my kids and the response was silence (I may have imagined some crickets). Instead of feeling heard and told it was normal, I mind-read the silence as judgement and thought “Maybe no-one else feels that way? I must be a bad mother”.
All it takes is for one person to say “I know how that feels”or even “that must be really hard” and immediately the weight is lifted and honesty can flow.
So I started Mummy’s Undeserved Blessings to show who I am,an imperfect mother learning how to best love and appreciate her children. They are blessings that I did nothing to deserve but that I want to do everything I can to appreciate. If I fail a little (or a lot) along the way, that’s OK I am still learning.
Lisa and her gorgeous family!
Author Bio: Lisa is a mum to three beautiful girls, under four years old. She blogs about her struggles and successes as a mum, her passion for cooking and whatever else is on her mind.
You can find Lisa at her blog Mummy’s Undeserved Blessings sharing her wisdom and knowledge and also on her facebook page.

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3 Months Today http://allmumsaid.com.au/3-months-today/ http://allmumsaid.com.au/3-months-today/#comments Wed, 04 Jul 2012 21:00:00 +0000 http://madmummas.com/?p=168 Today my blog is officially 3 months old. It has grown beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I have gotten to know so many other incredible and talented women (and men) through their blogs, comments and my mine. So far it has been such an amazing experience and the support from everyone is valued […]

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Today my blog is officially 3 months old. It has grown beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I have gotten to know so many other incredible and talented women (and men) through their blogs, comments and my mine.

So far it has been such an amazing experience and the support from everyone is valued so much more then I put into words. The comments that are left are always encouraging and engaging and make me want to do more, try harder, be better!

Thank you everyone for your continued support the last 3 months. I couldn’t have done it without you.

THANK YOU!!

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It Should Be Enough – But It’s Not! http://allmumsaid.com.au/it-should-be-enough-but-its-not/ http://allmumsaid.com.au/it-should-be-enough-but-its-not/#comments Tue, 22 May 2012 21:00:00 +0000 http://madmummas.com/?p=185 It Should Be Enough – But It’s Not! When did charity become so pushy? When did door knockers adopt the used car salesman pitch? I donate to a lot of different organisations on a regular basis but it’s always when I can spare the money. Majority of the time it may only $5 and I […]

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It Should Be Enough – But It’s Not!
When did charity become so pushy? When did door knockers adopt the used car salesman pitch?
I donate to a lot of different organisations on a regular basis but it’s always when I can spare the money. Majority of the time it may only $5 and I think that’s OK because I can comfortably give that much without the concern of my family requiring to live on rations.
 
If we are at the supermarket I will buy a pen to raise funds for the children hospitals, bandannas for canteen, cancer council, guide dogs, rescue choppers and I donate to op shops, charity bins and the list goes on. I love being able to contribute in ways such as the above and up until today I could always spare a few gold coins for door knock appeals.
Today however…… My opinion has changed!
I think it’s fair to say I am absolutely appalled!!
I’m not going to name this particular charity as they do some amazing work for the less fortunate, homeless, troubled youth and are now even providing breakfast at some schools for children who don’t get it at home. I have given to this foundation for years but after today I’m not sure I will again!
Gone are the days of emptying out the coins from your wallet, your money boxes or under your couch cushions. They no longer want cash, they want credit pledges. My kids and I were so kindly told today (that was a nice way of me saying extremely rudely!) to keep our collection of coins! My kids wanted to give half their savings to help people and we have been waiting to donate.
K’s (3) would have been donation
But NO! A one off donation is no longer acceptable; they wanted me to pledge $50 every month.


D’s (5) would have been donation
When I told them I couldn’t give that much they told me they could probably go as little as a $15 monthly contribution and that surely I could afford it! Now it’s not that I can’t afford $15 a month, I can.
It’s that I refuse to be treated or spoken to like that from anyone! 
I told them to leave – without a donation!
They should be ashamed of themselves, telling young children who are kind enough, generous enough to want to help other people by giving them their money that they have saved to buy toys that it isn’t enough!
Since when was there a minimum you could give to help people in need?
When did volunteer door knockers become so rude, insistent and ruthless? Well actually, they aren’t even volunteers anymore. They are paid door knockers according to their name tags.
When I donate it is because I can and because I want to help the cause not so I can boast and say I’m a platinum pledger!
I don’t appreciate being told how much I can give! No, make that how I have to give. Maybe if you accepted all kinds of donations you would collect more for the foundation!         


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Dedication to my Mum http://allmumsaid.com.au/dedication-to-my-mum/ http://allmumsaid.com.au/dedication-to-my-mum/#comments Sat, 12 May 2012 00:29:00 +0000 http://madmummas.com/?p=193 Dedication to my Mum In the spirit of Mothers Day, I wanted to write a post about how much my mum means to me and how much I appreciate everything she has done and sacrificed for me, my brother and sisters. My wonderful mum & Me   This amazing woman not only gave birth to me […]

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Dedication to my Mum
In the spirit of Mothers Day, I wanted to write a post about how much my mum means to me and how much I appreciate everything she has done and sacrificed for me, my brother and sisters.
My wonderful mum & Me

 

This amazing woman not only gave birth to me and walked me down the aisle but she raised me to be strong and independent. She taught me to have confidence in myself and know that whatever I wanted to do if I set my mind to it and focused, I could achieve it. She showed me that I can be an individual and don’t have to follow the crowd. I can say no when I don’t agree and yes because I want to. I can be myself and not what I think everyone else wants.
She showed me that a sense of humour is an incredible tool in life. When you feel like life has dropped you in the middle of cactus field with nowhere to go, you can laugh or should I say pull the prickles out and know tomorrow will be better. She had a tough life but grew into a stronger and better person for it. This resilient woman sacrificed so much for us that I can’t even begin to list them.
My mum was tough at times when I was growing up but it was always for our own benefit. It has really only been since I’ve become a mum myself that I have realised this, well you know when your younger but you don’t appreciate it. I do now! 
She let us be kids and she joined in too. She let us set up camp with our mattresses in the hall way, she baked us cookies and cakes. She was fun and adventurous or at least she pretended to be and that was good enough for us. She would have running races with us – man she was quick!
We learnt the difference between right and wrong and were allowed to make mistakes. Boy did we make some mistakes!  She taught us values that are important and vital in life. Regardless what we did or even now what we do – she loves us unconditionally.
She had a ‘verbal’ list of what we called her favourite things to say. ‘Do we live in a tent? – Shut the damn door’. ‘You’re not made of glass – get out of the way’! ‘I should make an ad telling you to do your jobs – maybe then you’ll remember them’. There are so many more but I now find myself using these horrible and annoying lists of *mum quotes* that I swore I would never say. How wrong was I!?   
Her door was and still is always open when we want or need to talk. I love that she didn’t try and be my ‘best friend’ – she tried to be a great mum and she was. She is. She is the kind of mum I strive to be.
She made us laugh, she made us cry, she made us strong, she let us be vulnerable and she let us be brave. She let us be ourselves!
                                                     
She is amazing, she is beautiful and she is my Mum.
Thank you for everything you have done for me, you mean the world to me.
I love you.

xx Kell

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I’m A Mess No More! http://allmumsaid.com.au/overcome-stress-a-mess-no-more/ http://allmumsaid.com.au/overcome-stress-a-mess-no-more/#comments Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:00:00 +0000 http://madmummas.com/?p=197 I’m a Mess No More! A few months ago I broke down. I was a spluttering mess, tears that wouldn’t stop and snot bubbles that would give the Blair Witch Project a run for its money. If it wasn’t so pathetic it would have been hilarious. I had not long gone from being a full […]

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I’m a Mess No More!
A few months ago I broke down. I was a spluttering mess, tears that wouldn’t stop and snot bubbles that would give the Blair Witch Project a run for its money. If it wasn’t so pathetic it would have been hilarious.
I had not long gone from being a full time stay at home mum to my boys and wanting another baby to going back to school, going back to work as a chef, building a house and having so much study to do that I barely left my desk. I hardly recognised my life anymore with so much going on. It seems I missed out on so much time with my kids. In retrospect; I wasn’t missing out that much. My eldest started school this year so he wouldn’t have been home anyway, my husband was still going to work as does and my youngest … well he is really the only one who it has had a reasonable effect. He now gets to go to childcare/preschool 2 days a week which has been a great benefit to him because he is gaining incredible social skills that he wouldn’t have gotten at home.
overcome stress
I however seemed overwhelmed. My life had changed so much, so quickly.
 When did that happen? How did that happen? What was I thinking?
Even as I write this I’m shaking my head in disbelief. There was no logic in why I was so upset. What mum doesn’t want some time to herself? Some independence?
Normally however my idea of time to myself is getting my hair done or going out for lunch. Mind you I would settle for an empty bathroom that I can go to the toilet in peace in but as all us mums know that happens about as often as the cleaning fairy visiting for free or just plain visiting!
I don’t typically get overwhelmed or tearful. I’m tough! Or so I thought. My husband hugged me and gave me the support I needed, we talked and I cried and then I cried some more. I later came to the conclusion that I had yet again under estimated my ability. I had myself believing I couldn’t do it all.
I CAN!
I took a step back, wiped my eyes, popped those snot bubbles and got on with it. I am exceeding any possible expectation I could have dreamed of. Don’t get me wrong it isn’t easy; it is extremely hard work but since that night I have let my stress go (or as much as one can) and have taken on even more.
What else? Well…..
I also started this little blog. When I get the feeling of “please everyone just get the hell away from me and leave me alone” I start to write. I write for my blog, I write for you wonderful fans, I write for my sanity. I write for me! It is my release.
For this I am grateful.
What is your release? How do you cope with or overcome stress?

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