You know that moment where you know or at least think you fairly sure you’re done having kids? Well I reached this point after realising I no longer have to wipe dirty bums, change nappies, make bottles or ensure there are no little pieces of anything on the floor that a baby could choke on. Life is good. Life is getting easier. The kids are becoming more and more independent and I love it. Why would I want to go back to a crying baby, night feeds, early mornings, dirty nappies, dummies, bulky baby furniture and having baby toys everywhere? Not to mention having to lug a pram everywhere I go. Well there is the fact that they are cute as hell and yes sometimes my hormones need a swift kick up the arse when they make me feel clucky but besides that I’m good. I think the fact my youngest turns 4 in February makes it easier as well as I never wanted to have a huge gap between kids. There are 2 years and 1 month between my boys and I always thought a maximum of a 3 year gap between Kye and baby number 3 would be great. Alas 3 years have come and gone.
No more than a month after reaching this conclusion of I’m done having babies; I started feeling really queasy. I was convinced I had come down with a bug until I woke with the most tender breasts. Perfect timing – a horrible bug and my period is due! Could this week get any better? It wasn’t until my bug began to get worse and seemed to stick around for longer than the standard 24-48 hours that the thought of ‘Oh Shit maybe I’m pregnant!’ popped into my head. I disregarded this thought very quickly however because I knew I was on the contraceptive pill and hadn’t missed even 1 day in the past 3 months (this is a huge feat for me which proves how adamant I am about being done having kids). I also threw this theory out the window as with both of my boys I didn’t feel sick until the 8 weeks and the sore boobs didn’t start until well after that.
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What kind of horrible bug have I caught? My period was late by a few days but as it has never been very consistent and I once again thought that doesn’t mean too much; I figured with the stress of building our house and it being so close to completion and Christmas coming up way to quickly has worn my immune system down. I hate how the second you have a symptom or two of pregnancy you start to freak out even though so many other things cause the same symptoms. The joys of being female I suppose. It had been a week and my bug didn’t seem to be getting any better so I headed to the shop to buy a pregnancy test.
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Why are these simple little sticks so daunting? It doesn’t matter whether you are hoping for a positive result or a negative result there is always a 50% chance you will be disappointed or basically scared shitless of the result. I got home and ripped the plastic cover off, grabbed the test out and did what I had to do to put my mind at ease; I peed on the stick and began the 3 minute wait. While we wait for the results I would love to hear if you have ever had a scare and what made you decide that you were done having babies or not done yet? This would have to be the longest 3 minutes in history!
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Waiting, waiting, waiting.
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We always said we’d have two. But now my ‘baby’ is a toddler and my big girl seems so grown up (she’s 3!) and every time I see a newborn I get all slushy and start thinking I want more. I guess it’s fair to say that I haven’t made my mind up yet!
hahaha I know exactly what you mean. I was exactly the same until the age gap got larger ad larger and now I can just admire and occassionally long for those cute little chubba bums without having that strong desire to ‘need’ another one.
Our number three baby was unplanned and she is the best thing to happen to our family. She is such a delight and the larger age gap 3 1/2 years has been no problem – easier for me actually. This could explain the ‘baby brain’ type of thing you have been hinting at in some of your comments!
Congratulations if you are! Nappies and sleepless nights are always worth it
Hahahaha the baby brain thing never left after my first was born! It just seems to have gotten worse over the years.
Yeah I agree the sleepness nights and nappies are worth it, it just took me a long time to come to the conclusion or more so convince myself that I am done. If that makes sense.
I’m sure if I am pregnant the boys would be very helpful with a baby.
I know i’m not done yet, I just feel it! Hubby is adamant we’re only having the two though so we’ll have to see if I can change his mind!
What’s meant to be will be… Don’t keep us in suspense for too long!
My husband has always been adamant 2 kids is it but to me it never seemed enough. He comes from a family of 2 kids and I come from a family of 5. While I never wanted 5 I thought 3 would be a good number and it has taken me a long time to accept/convince myself I am done after 2.
But I agree, what’s meant to be will be
Good luck with getting the hubby to change his mind.
We are waiting and seeing but I know what you mean – when you get a few symptoms and you start thinking could I be? Waiting to hear
That is exactly how it is Gemma! Thanks for commenting
I was lucky that after several failed pregnancies, we Had our first girl in 2006, followed by our second girl 19 months later, so we decided to try for a boy, we can do three kids max we figured.. and then with a gap of 2 years and four months our baby boy arrived. I chose to have the simple op and get my tubes clamped as we now have the family we wanted.
I’m sorry to hear about your failed pregnancies but congratulations on your family. It is always nice to hear about people overcoming the loss and things working out for them.
The silver lining of infertility was never having to worry about this but one day 14yrs later I got the surprise of my life …sadly our precious miracle was born still @ 6 months.
Then we went to IVF and were blessed with twins.
I am done well and truly
Good luck.
I’m so sorry to hear that Trish. I bet those boys keep you busy though :)Mine aren’t twins and I know they give me a damn good run for my money some days.
Cruel you are to leave us with a cliff hanger! My 3rd was one of those surprises. We wanted a 3rd, but planned on a 2.5-3 year gap. Instead we have a 14 month gap! He is 18 weeks now and we have just found out we can’t have more kids. I know now that god gave me my little bundle early because otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten him at all
Sometimes I think that is why things happen – because they were supposed to! Congratulations on getting on your new addition Elise.
I know that feeling, we were to have three, hubby decided he was done at two, but me, not so much. we’ve got our third and I know my hands are full, and I nodded my head all the way through your post. I only have nappies and the pram to go until we’re fully fledged baby free and whilst most wipe a tear from their eyes, I bloody loved my babies, but I’m way too excited about the next phase of our life to lose sleep over it.
Whilst we await the outcome…… I hope you built your home big enough to accommodate what might come your way.
I’m so glad that others know how I feel and I don’t just across a heartless baby hater because that is not the case (I secretly love babies). I am just ready to move to the next phase of life.
hahaha we built a large 4 bedroom + office home. You know 1 room for us, 1 for each of the boys and a spare room.
Thanks for stopping by Mandy. xx
Aaaargh! I must know!
hahaha Check back tomorrow Emily. (Or Thursday if I get really slack tonight and don’t write the post)
Don’t keep us in suspenders! How exciting! I’m sure it’ll all be wonderful – regardless of how many lines are on your stick!
Yeah either way we are happy. Just one of those things you know. Unexpected and surprising in a good way or ife keeps going how it is which is great as well.
You can pull your suspenders down tomorrow :p
Our twinly two, numbers 3 and 4 in our family were a surprise. There is the same sort of gap as there was between 1 and 2 so the grouping is quite compact. While on one hand I am ready to lose the pram and the nappies, the family has worked well, and we love our little surprise twiglets
Yeah once you have them you can’t imagine life without them! I completely understand that.
I have 4 boys, and I don’t feel done yet. But sometimes I like you, just don’t want to go back to all that, and am enjoying their increasing independence.
But there is that little voice inside me, telling me I am not done.
hahaha I understand that little voice! I battled that one for a long time
I feel well and truly done! Not going back again, just moving forward
Only way is forward Jess
Hahaha! Oh my gosh you sound exactly like me when I discovered my surprise number five was cooking!
Strangely though, he’s now seven and I would LOVE another babe!
I’m not insane!
Merry Christmas! xxx
hahaha I’m so pleased I’m not the only one who felt this way
Maybe Santa will bring you another Miss Cinders ;p
*another baby