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It’s Important That My Kids Are Beautiful And Here’s Why…

“I’m not beautiful!” said my three year old to my husband. This is not something you ever expect or want to hear your child say.

Thankfully this is not a case of poor body image at such a young and for this I am grateful. I would hate to think that society has such a negative impact on children this young. My daughter’s comment was for a completely different reason.

All Mum Said | Haddie Happy girl - body image confidence & kindness

I intentionally tell my daughter that she is smart, bright, funny and has a lovely smile and while I can look at her and know she is absolutely beautiful, it is because I also know what kind of person she is. When I tell her she is beautiful it is not because I am trying to boost her confidence. At three, she is learning how far she can push boundaries and commenting on what a kind person she is teaches her that she is making the right decisions. It is more about encouraging good behaviour than telling her what a pretty little girl she is.

Like every proud parent, I tell my kids when they look cute in a new outfit or how adorable they are when they have giggle fits but commenting on their looks isn’t the main focus. I want my children to grow up wanting to succeed in life and know they can because they are good, kind people and not because of their looks.

To many reading this, it will seem like I have overthought this whole ‘beauty for kids’ thing. However I would have to disagree. While yes I do want them to grow up being confident with however they look, at this young age I believe it is far more important to encourage their kindness and happiness over anything else. Which is why when my daughter responded to her dad calling her beautiful with “I’m not beautiful, my name is Haddie. You can call me Haddie”, it was a proud parenting moment. Not because she doesn’t agree that she is beautiful, she knows she is. It is because without even realising, she knows that being beautiful doesn’t define who she is.

The standard of beauty that women are expected to strive towards is unrealistic for most. Attempting to conform can leave many of us feeling inadequate and all because we don’t have the shape, skin or structure to look a certain way. It is our responsibility as parents to change this and start redefining what the world sees as beautiful. Obviously what people see as attractive is their own personal preference however we need to reprioritise what we push onto our youth. We need to make health, happiness and kindness play a larger part in our culture instead of physical beauty.

I am leading by example for my children. If other mothers, women, teenagers and girls of all ages stopped comparing themselves to the ‘more beautiful’ people of the world and focused on being joyful and kind, the world would be a much happier place.

 



 

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20 Comments

  1. 20/02/2017 / 6:45 am

    Nice post. Smart kid! It’s hard not to overthink it all as it’s so pervasive (and in the advent of SM, overwhelming)

  2. 20/02/2017 / 9:01 am

    Aww this is lovely! She’s a very wise kid.

  3. 20/02/2017 / 10:10 am

    How wise for such a young girl! (My daughter has that same dress!) 💖

  4. 20/02/2017 / 10:14 am

    I definitely don’t think you are over thinking. It truly makes a huge difference and parents should try to be more mindful. It affects boy just as much girls too. ‘Know better, do better’ 🙂

  5. 20/02/2017 / 10:25 am

    This is lovely. You are doing such a great job. Nevertheless no matter what, kids do seem to be exposed to more ‘messages’ that we may not agree with sadly. Little by little, one person at a time, differences can be made. Your daughter is onto something ‘she is Haddie!’ Nothing more, nothing less. Love it!

  6. 20/02/2017 / 11:28 am

    This is great and I love your thinking Kell. What a character your daughter is! I bet she has a big and beautiful character to go with her lovely smile and positive attitude!

  7. 20/02/2017 / 5:42 pm

    That’s the one thing I love most about my kids. Their inner beauty. Big hearts bursting with kindness and empathy. That inner beauty shines brightly.
    Great post.

  8. inthegoodbooksblog ( Michelle)
    20/02/2017 / 6:41 pm

    I have three daughters and try to teach them how important it is to have inner beauty. It isn’t easy in today’s society but I think that they are doing really well so far.

  9. 20/02/2017 / 11:58 pm

    I think it is all about balance. If I tell the girls how pretty they are I try and also tell them how smart, generous, kind something inner- along with that beauty compliment.

  10. 21/02/2017 / 12:25 am

    These link ups look amazing. Thanks for hosting,

  11. 21/02/2017 / 6:37 am

    #lovelylittlethings an issue close to my heart, really hope to give my daughter a strong self image.

  12. 21/02/2017 / 2:45 pm

    Thought provoking post and I admire your approach, Kell. I am the mother of a son and some how, focusing on his looks hasn’t been as much of the challenge I hear it can be with daughters. But I do have many friends with daughters so I am taking your words on board for them.

    SSG xxx

  13. 25/02/2017 / 10:42 am

    “Beautifully” said! We often talk about being beautiful on the inside and what that means.

  14. 26/02/2017 / 8:29 am

    Totally understand you! This was an interesting post to read. Thanks for linking up to #littlelovelythings

  15. 26/02/2017 / 11:10 pm

    Her attitude towards beauty is beautiful 🙂 It’s definitely good to tell them all the things you love about them and all the great things about them!

  16. 27/02/2017 / 8:09 am

    I couldn’t agree more about teaching little girls in particular to realise that beauty is skin deep. My daughter twirls around in her Cinderella dress & says “Look mum I am beautiful”. I respond with “Oh darling it’s not a dress that makes you beautiful, it is your heart!”

  17. 15/03/2017 / 1:33 pm

    Hi , I think that was a great post. I tell my daughter all the time that she is beautiful, she is six now, and she knows she is lol. Thank you for the great blog post! My name is Brandy and im new to the blogging community, so its nice to meet you! Have a blessed day!

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