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GUEST POST – Not So Stereotypical……

A big thank you to Lisa for her guest post today.

What do you immediately think of when you hear “Minister’sWife?” If you are like me, you might think of the overly social women whose house is always perfect and whose children are always well behaved, or the dowdy and dull little mouse who locks her kids away from those “other”children.
When I started writing my blog, Mummy’s Undeserved Blessings I wanted to create a blog where I could show other mums that even the perceived“perfect mummy”, the minister’s wife, didn’t always have it all together. A place where my honesty would allow others to feel they too could be honest about their struggles.
Most people who meet me for the first time are actually quite surprised to find out that I am a minister’s wife. I guess I don’t come across as either of the two stereotypes. I openly admit I am not perfect and my kids are far from perfect.
Some days, I would love to be the stereotype of the perfect mum with the perfect house. In reality I am the mum whose house is cluttered with toys and has crumbs on the bench. I am the mum who yells at her kids, then regrets it. I am the mum who (mildly) injures her child’s shoulder by yanking them when they were walking too slow (Yep- that happened!). I am the mum who spends too much time on the Internet and not enough time playing with her kids.
I think it is so important to be real with people. Too often we compare ourselves, or our skills as a mother to other people based on what we perceive them to be like. If I was to portray myself as the perfect mother with the perfect house, then I could never really be able to relate to others who might be struggling with self doubt or feelings of failure.
As mums our role is to love our kids and do the best WE can, too often we are trying to copy someone else and be the mother we THINK they are.
I think it is important to admit where you are failing (or feel you are failing) to others. It has a twofold effect as firstly it shows them that you are real, and secondly it allows them to admit where they are struggling to you without fear of judgement.
It is important to me to help other mums realise that it is ok to make mistakes. I remember times when I had been honest about how I was feeling towards my kids and the response was silence (I may have imagined some crickets). Instead of feeling heard and told it was normal, I mind-read the silence as judgement and thought “Maybe no-one else feels that way? I must be a bad mother”.
All it takes is for one person to say “I know how that feels”or even “that must be really hard” and immediately the weight is lifted and honesty can flow.
So I started Mummy’s Undeserved Blessings to show who I am,an imperfect mother learning how to best love and appreciate her children. They are blessings that I did nothing to deserve but that I want to do everything I can to appreciate. If I fail a little (or a lot) along the way, that’s OK I am still learning.
Lisa and her gorgeous family!
Author Bio: Lisa is a mum to three beautiful girls, under four years old. She blogs about her struggles and successes as a mum, her passion for cooking and whatever else is on her mind.
You can find Lisa at her blog Mummy’s Undeserved Blessings sharing her wisdom and knowledge and also on her facebook page.
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1 Comment

  1. 18/07/2012 / 1:59 am

    What a great post, Lisa!

    I loved the sentence – “Too often we compare ourselves, or our skills as a mother to other people based on what we perceive them to be like. ” I’m so guilty of this, and have had to work hard to remind myself that I’m only seeing one aspect of their life! Parenting has not come as naturally to me as I thought it would. Lots of crumbs on the bench & floor here! 😉

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