GUEST POST – The Top 10 Tips for Surviving Co-Parenting
- I am kasha i lives in uk and i was in a serious relationship with my ex guy for…
A big thank you to Chrissie for her guest post today!!
The Top 10 Tips for Surviving Co-Parenting
Image source: http://counselingatheritage.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/tips-for-succesful-co-parenting/
Co-parenting is a tough gig these days. Some days just getting along with your ex-partner can be just too hard, let alone effectively raising children together. Believe me, I know the feeling! I have put together 10 simple ways to make it just that little bit easier to co-parent with your ex, and some of these ideas could even be put into practice with your hubby if you feel you just aren’t on the same page when it comes to parenting.
1. Have a communication book. We have an exercise book that goes back and forth between the 2 houses. Any information such as illness, medication, recent sleep issues or even just new routines get written in this book, so that the other parent is aware of what is going on. It is really important to fill it out each time.
2. If you find that you can’t have a conversation without arguing, try a different form of communication. Unless it is an emergency, my ex and I communicate through email. This means that there is no expectation that you are to respond immediately.
3. Do not keep each other as friends on Facebook, or any other social media. My ex wanted to continue to stay Facebook friends, but I found that my privacy was being invaded, things I was doing were being used against me, and it created a lot of problems.
4. Create a handbook specifically for your child, if you find the other parent isn’t sure what to do. I saved myself many middle of the night phone calls by creating a simple document telling my ex what to do if Munchkin was teething, if he woke through night, when his asthma is playing up, everything that could happen when Master A was in his care, there was a simple solution that I have tried and know works. I now don’t get any phone calls!
5. Have rules set in place for when either of you start a new relationship. Go with what you are comfortable with. I like my son to have 1 of the 3 days he is with his dad each fortnight to be spent only with his dad, not his girlfriend and her child. You may have a preference as to when your children are introduced to a new partner. Make the rules clear, and abide by them yourself. Don’t have 1 set of rules for your ex, and 1 for yourself.
6. If possible, choose a public place to do swap over time. This means you are more likely to get it done cleanly, and without an argument. If this isn’t possible, do swap overs at the front door. Don’t go into his house, and don’t invite him into yours. This means you are able to fight, and I found it invited my ex to ask too many personal questions about my life.
7. If you get along with your ex, try to arrange a day, perhaps once a month, for them to come out for a play date at the park, or for lunch. Show your children that their parents can still get along, and are still friends. Remember that you are role models to your children.
8. Discuss any concerns you have right away. But be fair. Don’t accuse and don’t use the children as weapons.
9. Keep the adult conversation to the adults. Don’t put down the other parent, or vent in front of the children. Don’t bring them into the situation by telling them to tell Daddy to “make sure he pays the child support this week”. Don’t make your children choose between you and the other parent. They love you both equally, and this is just something you need to accept (and yes I know how hard that is.)
10. If all else fails, and you still aren’t getting along, contact Child Support, and they can provide you with a provider for mediation (or Family Dispute Resolution). They can help you talk with your ex, and try to come to a workable agreement for the both of you. They can also help to create a parenting plan, should you want one (which I strongly recommend).
Above everything I have written here, remember that when it comes to your children, it is not about the parent’s rights to have the child, it is about the child’s rights to have access to both parents, as long as it is in the best interests of the child. Good luck with your journey.
Author Bio – Chrissie is a stay at home single mum to a toddler, with a total handbag addiction. Her blog Me and My Munchkin shares the ups and downs of doing the parenting thing alone.
Make sure you follow her facebook page too – Find it here!
Hey Lovely, I have nominated you for the “Versatile Blogger” award….come on over to my blog to collect!!!!
– I am kasha i lives in uk and i was in a serious relationship with my ex guy for three good years.. One day we were in a dinner party, we had a little misunderstanding which lead to a Quarrel and he stood up and left me at the dinner party. i try to call him but he was not picking my calls so after than i contacted my brother and told him about it,my brother so much love me that he had to see him on my behalf,he told my brother that it is over between us.. Then i contacted a friend of mine that had this similar experience and she directed me to one of the spiritual diviner ([email protected]).at first i thought it was not going to be possible and i contacted him i was ask to come up with a little requirement,so i did what i was ask to do, after 3 days i was in my office when my ex guy called me and was asking me to forgive him and come back to him. i was very surprise it was like a dream to me,so ever since we have been happily married with one kid my lovely baby(Ceslav)…i wish you the best of luck…