All Mum Said

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I Miss Getting My Freak On

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I Miss Getting My Freak On

Lately I haven’t exactly been posting a lot of heartfelt or touching reads for you to enjoy and that has not been due to lack of content or ideas but more the fact that I have barely had time to catch my breath.

I have been so busy finalising assignments and studying for end of semester exams that everything (and I mean everything) has been put on the back burner. Sex is being traded for sleep (and that loved midnight nudge is dreaded), wine/vodka is traded for coffee (even on a Friday night) and meals are being replaced by sugar hits to keep me going. I cannot remember the last time I played at the park with the kids (to be honest I hate going to the park anyway but that’s a whole other story, the kids love it), I cannot remember the last time my husband and I went out for dinner alone or with the kids, the last time I had a proper conversation and wasn’t trying to multi task (study and keep up with the conversation) or even played artists with the kids, etc.

I feel like I haven’t ‘REALLY’ spoken nor had any in depth conversation with my husband in months or given him my undivided attention. I feel terribly bad about this as there doesn’t seem to be a happy medium at this point. It’s studying my absolute arse off and completely kind of ignore everyone else around me or fail. Neither option is favourable to me!

I have completed 2 exams and to my surprise received 100% in both!

YAY me!!

But as you can see it has come at a price, one that will be paid back 10 fold and may or may not come across as smothering when I’m finished my last exam.

On Tuesday, my last assessment for this semester will be held. It is extremely difficult and I’m not sure how I will go. I’m aiming for 50% (just so I can pass). I have paper stuck all over the walls of key points of information so that as I walk from room to room some of it may sink in. I’m not very optimistic but all I can do is try.

I am willing this study bullshit learning and mind expanding experience to be over, whose stupid idea was it for me to go back and study anyway? Oh right, it was mine.

REPEAT AFTER ME:
This will be beneficial for you in the long run!
This will bring opportunities for you when you are ready for them!
You have challenged yourself and you have succeeded!
When you complete this you can return to loving that midnight fireworks inducing romp and matinees!
(If that’s not encouragement I don’t know what is!)

Until next time, please have a stiff drink and in depth conversation for me, for yourself and most importantly go and get your freak on!!  

Part 2 – The Result of the Lesson

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The Result of the Lesson
It has been a bit over a week since I went all hard core and stripped Ds’ room down to nothing more than a mattress. How has he gone you ask? Has he learnt anything or was it a complete and utter waste of my time? Well this is how the week went.
The day of destruction and the couple of days following were not received very pleasantly by Mr 5. Not only did he hate his stuff, he now had it in for C and me. Which is fine, I completely understood where he was coming from. In his eyes I was the bitch that took all his stuff (that he hated so much!) and gave it to nicer and more appreciative owners. His little brother K was one of these happy new owners.
After a few days he cooled off and asked if he could have his toys back. The answer was ‘No’. This lesson will not be learnt if I just give his stuff back; it would completely defeat the purpose of what I did. I stuck to my guns. This time however instead of getting angry and kicking the wall or throwing something (makes it easy as he had no toys to throw) he simply asked K if he could play with some of his toys. K obligingly said ‘yes’.
We explained to him how there are people who have nothing and still don’t complain, they make the most of life and appreciate what they have and what people give them. This stuff might not be new, it might not be food they like but it keeps them alive. We showed D clips from the Red Cross and Salvation Army to show him that some people have nothing and how he should be grateful we can afford the things we do.
After seeing that kids not much older than him have to sleep on the streets and eat out of rubbish bins so they don’t starve it was like something inside his head clicked. He saw an advert on one the clips asking for everyone to donate when the door knockers came around and he asked if he could. He got his money box, so did K and they got half of their money out ready to donate. All we needed now was door knockers.
Well, as you have probably read in my post last weekend the door knocker plan didn’t go so well. If you missed it you can read it here. D couldn’t understand why they refused to take his money when there were people who really needed it.
Ds’ attitude has changed dramatically (for now at least!) but it’s a step. He has been helping more with everyday things, helping his brother, tidying up after himself, etc. By day 4 he asked if I could put his bed back in his room. After his help the past couple of days I thought there is no harm in giving his bed back. C put it back together and he made his bed.
Day 5 he asked if he could have his toys back again, I told him that he will need to ask K if he can have any of them back. If K says no then you can’t. Luckily for D, his little brother can be very kind and gave him a few back. It wasn’t all the toys K choose to have but more so a handful of matchbox cars. D was overwhelmed, he hugged K and said ‘Thank you so much K, I love you’.
By this point I’m thinking something has sunk in. Before he would have kicked and screamed and carried on that he wanted such-and-such a toy but not now. He was just happy to have a few cars. This is the lesson I was trying to teach. It does however go even further than this. C sewed a button back onto Ds’ pyjama shirt (yes C is the sewer of the family!) and D couldn’t have been happier or cuter I must add. He went up to his father and said ‘Dad thank you for fixing my button, I really appreciate it!’
D has continued to be helpful around the house and his attitude has maintained its adjusted new found appreciation so we thought it would be fitting for him and K to take the money that they were going to so kindly donate and buy a toy with it. I added the coins I was going to donate so between the two of them they had $39 each to spend.
He almost cried when I told him he could have this money to buy a new toy. That is a step in the right direction if I don’t say so myself.
I had no idea in the beginning how this lesson would turn out. Would it backfire? I wasn’t sure but in my eyes it was worth a go. Now in part 1 of this story I mentioned I may lose a few followers and guess what? I did. I however bid them farewell, my parenting style works for my kids. They know when I say something I follow through. I don’t joke when it comes to them learning life lessons (yes I know they are young but in my opinion a child is never too young to start respecting).
So for now, I would have to say that this lesson has been taken on board and accepted. Lesson learnt! I know that this issue will arise again at some stage in the future and yes I will do the same thing again. For my kids and I, this works. It teaches them.
How do you teach your kids lesson in life? Does it work?

Teaching a Lesson in Appreciation

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Teaching a Lesson in Appreciation
This is more of a rant for me to blow off steam then it is a heart felt warm and fuzzy feeling post.
I would however love and appreciate any help, ideas, suggestions or heck even some vodka if your buying! (This post was actually written last weekend before the doorknockers came)
I have officially had enough! I thought I was raising my kids to be grateful and respect what they have but the message seems to have been squished and washed away like a bug on the windshield. My 5 year old who I must say is generally well behaved, has decided this last week that being a horrible devil child is more suited.
It only appears to be when he’s at home that his behaviour changes, when he’s at school he is very well behaved and excels. At home he presses my buttons within 30 minutes (easily) of me being awake. All of a sudden he HATES everything! If I ask him to do something, anything regardless what it is he responds with “I Hate ‘that’”.
How has this happened?
How has this happened so fucking quickly?
He has always been disciplined so he has never gotten away with this kind of shit. I am absolutely stumped as to why he has become this little ungrateful so and so all of a sudden. I did however take matters into my own hands today; I have plain and simply had enough! I’m over this attitude and he will learn the hard way. He has left me no choice.
I asked him to clean him room – “I hate my toys” so in the bin they went! (I let K (3) choose some that he wanted and then I took the rest to the Salvo’s so a child who will appreciate them can enjoy them). He has no toys left.
I asked him to make his bed – “I hate my bed” so I unbolted his bed and removed it from his room. He now has a mattress on the floor in his room.
Right now you may be thinking that I am a horrible mother and have taken things too far, I however would have to disagree. He is the kind of child who needs to be shown what it is like to have nothing before he can understand. He will learn to respect and appreciate what we have and how hard everyone has work to own and enjoy the things they do have.
K our 3 year old is respectful (for now at least) so I’m hoping this lesson will be learnt and learnt fast. I cannot go on feeling deflated and at a loss, his attitude towards um…. Well pretty much everything sucks. It just has to stop. I’m putting a stop to it – NOW!
Some of you (if you have made it this far) may stop following my blog because of my blunt honesty and parenting techniques and that is fine. I will not pretend to be the perfect parent with the most perfect kids. I am learning! It is trial and error for me as it is for so many other mums and dads.
Judge me or support me – it’s up to you but thank you in advance for the honest and non-judgemental people who decide to stick around with me.
RANT DONE!
In the next few days part 2 – The Result of the Lesson will be up. So if you stick around you will see if it worked or if I need to try something else.

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