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While I was Away!

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As you all know I have been overseas for the past couple of weeks.

During this time a few things have been going on at and for Mad Mummas Sweet Randoms blog.

I have had a few fantastic ladies share their experiences with you readers by guest posting here and I cannot describe how grateful I am to them. Just to recap and give another shout out in case you missed them here they are.

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Lisa is a mum to three beautiful girls, under four years old. She blogs about her struggles and successes as a mum, her passion for cooking and whatever else is on her mind.

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The hilariously honest Leigh from Six By The Sea with her post Welcome to the’hood’. 

Leigh is a happily married mum to four boys, a nurse who is considering a future in midwifery and a lover of life and all of its future adventures. Leigh’s ultimate dream is to have a regular gig writing a column.

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The very informative Chrissie from Me and My Munchkin with her post The Top 10 Tips for Surviving Co-Parenting.

Chrissie is a stay at home single mum to a toddler, with a total handbag addiction. Her blog shares the ups and downs of doing the parenting thing alone.

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I also won 2 awards while I was away!! YAY ME.

I received the Versatile Blogger award from One Too Many and my second Liebster Award from Cassie at The Flying Drunken Monkey.

I will have posts dedicated to these coming soon.

Winners for giveaways will be announced shortly as well!! Thank you to everyone who entered.

Appreciation goes to everyone mentioned above and all the lovely readers who share and read my blog regularly.

GUEST POST – Not So Stereotypical……

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A big thank you to Lisa for her guest post today.

What do you immediately think of when you hear “Minister’sWife?” If you are like me, you might think of the overly social women whose house is always perfect and whose children are always well behaved, or the dowdy and dull little mouse who locks her kids away from those “other”children.
When I started writing my blog, Mummy’s Undeserved Blessings I wanted to create a blog where I could show other mums that even the perceived“perfect mummy”, the minister’s wife, didn’t always have it all together. A place where my honesty would allow others to feel they too could be honest about their struggles.
Most people who meet me for the first time are actually quite surprised to find out that I am a minister’s wife. I guess I don’t come across as either of the two stereotypes. I openly admit I am not perfect and my kids are far from perfect.
Some days, I would love to be the stereotype of the perfect mum with the perfect house. In reality I am the mum whose house is cluttered with toys and has crumbs on the bench. I am the mum who yells at her kids, then regrets it. I am the mum who (mildly) injures her child’s shoulder by yanking them when they were walking too slow (Yep- that happened!). I am the mum who spends too much time on the Internet and not enough time playing with her kids.
I think it is so important to be real with people. Too often we compare ourselves, or our skills as a mother to other people based on what we perceive them to be like. If I was to portray myself as the perfect mother with the perfect house, then I could never really be able to relate to others who might be struggling with self doubt or feelings of failure.
As mums our role is to love our kids and do the best WE can, too often we are trying to copy someone else and be the mother we THINK they are.
I think it is important to admit where you are failing (or feel you are failing) to others. It has a twofold effect as firstly it shows them that you are real, and secondly it allows them to admit where they are struggling to you without fear of judgement.
It is important to me to help other mums realise that it is ok to make mistakes. I remember times when I had been honest about how I was feeling towards my kids and the response was silence (I may have imagined some crickets). Instead of feeling heard and told it was normal, I mind-read the silence as judgement and thought “Maybe no-one else feels that way? I must be a bad mother”.
All it takes is for one person to say “I know how that feels”or even “that must be really hard” and immediately the weight is lifted and honesty can flow.
So I started Mummy’s Undeserved Blessings to show who I am,an imperfect mother learning how to best love and appreciate her children. They are blessings that I did nothing to deserve but that I want to do everything I can to appreciate. If I fail a little (or a lot) along the way, that’s OK I am still learning.
Lisa and her gorgeous family!
Author Bio: Lisa is a mum to three beautiful girls, under four years old. She blogs about her struggles and successes as a mum, her passion for cooking and whatever else is on her mind.
You can find Lisa at her blog Mummy’s Undeserved Blessings sharing her wisdom and knowledge and also on her facebook page.

GUEST POST – Welcome to the ‘hood’

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A big thanks to Leigh for writing this guest post.

Welcome to the ‘hood’
By Leigh from Six by the sea

My friend has recently had her first child and as we do, we’ve all surrounded her with congratulations, oooooh, aaaahhhhs, gifts, tilted, loving heads, admiring eyes….. All that is lovely about a new baby and a new mummy.

Welcome to the hood sista! Im penning this for you. Read it when you are good and ready……. For the rest of us old hands, lets rejoice in everything ‘motherhood’….. ready, lets go……

So my darling friend, do you like roller coasters? Well hang on tight cause this one is going to be the fastest, longest roller coaster you’ve ever ridden, choc a block full of unexpected twists and turns! Its will begin the moment you give birth… hang on, scrap that, it actually begins once that precious seed is planted! Your body, your mind, your plans are no longer in your control. You may be pregnant and tired but you ain’t getting to sleep! But when you finally do get to sleep, heartburn or cramps are going to kick in and make sure that you wake as though you never rested!!!

Once that beautiful baby is in your arms life as you knew it will never be the same. Yes, yes, you can keep telling everyone that you aren’t going to change your ways to suit the baby but what you don’t realise is, is that the baby has an agenda and you are under its spell! Here are some tips to help you out..

Lesson number 1: Don’t EVER verbally praise your baby, somehow they understand all that you have said (even if they are in another room) and from that moment on they do the opposite to what you’ve singed their praise for! This is my solemn promise……. Never ever verbally praise….. you will be sorry!

Lesson number 2: Never leave home without a spare set of everything! Make it 2 spares. There’s a theory. If you are prepared for it, it wont happen. Don’t even tempt fate by being unprepared, you don’t want to have to put yourself through the turmoil!!!!

 Lesson number 3: Don’t book or plan anything for the first 6 weeks. You can be guaranteed that any time you choose to meet a friend or make an appointment, will definitely not suit! This may seem a little dramatic but I swear to you, its true. Fly by the seat of your pants for a while, be spontaneous, take each day as it comes. Others will understand. *** This lesson seems to carry on throughout the child’s life as you can bet that if you have had something on the calendar that you have been looking forward to, you wont be going due to reasons that you cant control……. I dare you to challenge this one!***
 Now, don’t take it all as a negative thing. There are many wonderful moments along the way, I promise. Once you get beyond the tantrums, teething, bed wetting, biting, hitting, attitude, talking back, embarrassment, hormonal teenage years, driving, clubbing and dating, then should come marriage and with any luck, this is the chance to step back and start enjoying your life again.

So, go forth, Revel in your new role as a mother, and although it may seem otherwise, I can tell you with all of my heart, never have I achieved something in my life that has given me so much joy, love and pride…… I say this to you with abundance of truth and not a word of a lie, and I am happy to say you are now officially a member of the ‘hood’. Enjoy xxxx

Author Bio:  Leigh is a happily married mum to four boys, a nurse who is considering a future in midwifery and a lover of life and all of its future adventures. Leigh’s ultimate dream is to have a regular gig writing a column. She blogs over at Six By The Sea and can be found hanging out on facebook here.

GUEST POST – The Top 10 Tips for Surviving Co-Parenting

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A big thank you to Chrissie for her guest post today!!

The Top 10 Tips for Surviving Co-Parenting

Image source: http://counselingatheritage.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/tips-for-succesful-co-parenting/

Co-parenting is a tough gig these days. Some days just getting along with your ex-partner can be just too hard, let alone effectively raising children together. Believe me, I know the feeling! I have put together 10 simple ways to make it just that little bit easier to co-parent with your ex, and some of these ideas could even be put into practice with your hubby if you feel you just aren’t on the same page when it comes to parenting.

1.      Have a communication book. We have an exercise book that goes back and forth between the 2 houses. Any information such as illness, medication, recent sleep issues or even just new routines get written in this book, so that the other parent is aware of what is going on. It is really important to fill it out each time.

2.      If you find that you can’t have a conversation without arguing, try a different form of communication. Unless it is an emergency, my ex and I communicate through email. This means that there is no expectation that you are to respond immediately.

3.      Do not keep each other as friends on Facebook, or any other social media. My ex wanted to continue to stay Facebook friends, but I found that my privacy was being invaded, things I was doing were being used against me, and it created a lot of problems.

4.      Create a handbook specifically for your child, if you find the other parent isn’t sure what to do. I saved myself many middle of the night phone calls by creating a simple document telling my ex what to do if Munchkin was teething, if he woke through night, when his asthma is playing up, everything that could happen when Master A was in his care, there was a simple solution that I have tried and know works. I now don’t get any phone calls!

5.      Have rules set in place for when either of you start a new relationship. Go with what you are comfortable with. I like my son to have 1 of the 3 days he is with his dad each fortnight to be spent only with his dad, not his girlfriend and her child. You may have a preference as to when your children are introduced to a new partner. Make the rules clear, and abide by them yourself. Don’t have 1 set of rules for your ex, and 1 for yourself.

6.      If possible, choose a public place to do swap over time. This means you are more likely to get it done cleanly, and without an argument. If this isn’t possible, do swap overs at the front door. Don’t go into his house, and don’t invite him into yours. This means you are able to fight, and I found it invited my ex to ask too many personal questions about my life.

7.      If you get along with your ex, try to arrange a day, perhaps once a month, for them to come out for a play date at the park, or for lunch. Show your children that their parents can still get along, and are still friends. Remember that you are role models to your children.

8.      Discuss any concerns you have right away. But be fair. Don’t accuse and don’t use the children as weapons.

9.      Keep the adult conversation to the adults. Don’t put down the other parent, or vent in front of the children. Don’t bring them into the situation by telling them to tell Daddy to “make sure he pays the child support this week”. Don’t make your children choose between you and the other parent. They love you both equally, and this is just something you need to accept (and yes I know how hard that is.)

10.  If all else fails, and you still aren’t getting along, contact Child Support, and they can provide you with a provider for mediation (or Family Dispute Resolution). They can help you talk with your ex, and try to come to a workable agreement for the both of you. They can also help to create a parenting plan, should you want one (which I strongly recommend).

Above everything I have written here, remember that when it comes to your children, it is not about the parent’s rights to have the child, it is about the child’s rights to have access to both parents, as long as it is in the best interests of the child. Good luck with your journey.

Author Bio – Chrissie is a stay at home single mum to a toddler, with a total handbag addiction. Her blog Me and My Munchkin shares the ups and downs of doing the parenting thing alone.

Make sure you follow her facebook page too – Find it here!

Guest Post – Action Aid

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DISCLAIMER: There are many views on this topic and the opinions in this post reflect the authors belief. I encourage civil comments but no personal attacks against one another.

The West African food crisis is getting worse – you can help stop this being a famine.

For those who have been following the news closely, you’ll know that far from being over, the West African food crisis is getting worse by the day, and is quickly on the way to becoming a full-blown humanitarian disaster.

Background to the crisis

In the Sahel region of West Africa, over 18 million people are currently facing a lack of food and water. More than a million children are at risk of serious malnutrition. The last major crisis in this area was only two years ago, so the countries and their inhabitants are still very vulnerable. The situation has been made worse by an influx of migrant workers, and by recent conflicts which forced tens of thousands of refugees from Mali into one of the most affected areas of the region. The next harvest will not come until October, so many communities face a long struggle to survive.

The flow-on effects of the crisis

Of course, the crisis doesn’t just end at a lack of food. Flow on effects from such extreme food shortages often continue for years and decades after the initial crisis has somewhat passed. The country’s economy as a whole suffers, and things like education falls out of focus, especially for women and girls. Children who are exposed to malnutrition and food shortages when young often suffer developmental deficiencies caused by a lack of nutrients during their crucial early developmental stages. Malnourished mothers also can’t give their nursing babies any of the nutrients they need through breast milk. Malnourished children often grow up to experience learning difficulties due to stunted brain development, which adds to an already tragic situation of young women and girls often not receiving the education and schooling they need to help sustain themselves and obtain good jobs later in life.

How organisations are providing help in the region

Agencies on the ground are taking multiple approaches to try to avert catastrophe. On the front line, Medicins sans Frontieres (Doctors without Borders) are providing emergency care to those affected by malnutrition and disease, while charities like ActionAid focus on addressing the root causes of famine by supporting sustainable farming, so that the kind of crisis we are seeing now might be avoided in the future.

Ways to assist the humanitarian effort

In a time like this it’s natural to wonder what we can do to help. We’ve talked about some of the ways that charitable agencies are supporting the people of West Africa. A tax deductible donation to any of the numerous organisations working in the region can go a long way, and is tax deductible. You can look at the websites for each organisation, or a site such as GiveWell, to learn more about how your donation will be used.

The situation in West Africa as it stands is deeply worrying. It makes us question what can be done right now, and what can be done to prevent such a crisis from happening again, There is hope, though, that emergency relief and long term changes to food systems will help alleviate some of the danger that the people of the region face.

Author bio: Jane Meldon is a freelance writer who makes a regular tax deductible donation to charities who are helping to stop the effects of the food crisis in Africa from getting out of control.

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