The Result of the Lesson
It has been a bit over a week since I went all hard core and stripped Ds’ room down to nothing more than a mattress. How has he gone you ask? Has he learnt anything or was it a complete and utter waste of my time? Well this is how the week went.
The day of destruction and the couple of days following were not received very pleasantly by Mr 5. Not only did he hate his stuff, he now had it in for C and me. Which is fine, I completely understood where he was coming from. In his eyes I was the bitch that took all his stuff (that he hated so much!) and gave it to nicer and more appreciative owners. His little brother K was one of these happy new owners.
After a few days he cooled off and asked if he could have his toys back. The answer was ‘No’. This lesson will not be learnt if I just give his stuff back; it would completely defeat the purpose of what I did. I stuck to my guns. This time however instead of getting angry and kicking the wall or throwing something (makes it easy as he had no toys to throw) he simply asked K if he could play with some of his toys. K obligingly said ‘yes’.
We explained to him how there are people who have nothing and still don’t complain, they make the most of life and appreciate what they have and what people give them. This stuff might not be new, it might not be food they like but it keeps them alive. We showed D clips from the Red Cross and Salvation Army to show him that some people have nothing and how he should be grateful we can afford the things we do.
After seeing that kids not much older than him have to sleep on the streets and eat out of rubbish bins so they don’t starve it was like something inside his head clicked. He saw an advert on one the clips asking for everyone to donate when the door knockers came around and he asked if he could. He got his money box, so did K and they got half of their money out ready to donate. All we needed now was door knockers.
Well, as you have probably read in my post last weekend the door knocker plan didn’t go so well. If you missed it you can read it here. D couldn’t understand why they refused to take his money when there were people who really needed it.
Ds’ attitude has changed dramatically (for now at least!) but it’s a step. He has been helping more with everyday things, helping his brother, tidying up after himself, etc. By day 4 he asked if I could put his bed back in his room. After his help the past couple of days I thought there is no harm in giving his bed back. C put it back together and he made his bed.
Day 5 he asked if he could have his toys back again, I told him that he will need to ask K if he can have any of them back. If K says no then you can’t. Luckily for D, his little brother can be very kind and gave him a few back. It wasn’t all the toys K choose to have but more so a handful of matchbox cars. D was overwhelmed, he hugged K and said ‘Thank you so much K, I love you’.
By this point I’m thinking something has sunk in. Before he would have kicked and screamed and carried on that he wanted such-and-such a toy but not now. He was just happy to have a few cars. This is the lesson I was trying to teach. It does however go even further than this. C sewed a button back onto Ds’ pyjama shirt (yes C is the sewer of the family!) and D couldn’t have been happier or cuter I must add. He went up to his father and said ‘Dad thank you for fixing my button, I really appreciate it!’
D has continued to be helpful around the house and his attitude has maintained its adjusted new found appreciation so we thought it would be fitting for him and K to take the money that they were going to so kindly donate and buy a toy with it. I added the coins I was going to donate so between the two of them they had $39 each to spend.
He almost cried when I told him he could have this money to buy a new toy. That is a step in the right direction if I don’t say so myself.
I had no idea in the beginning how this lesson would turn out. Would it backfire? I wasn’t sure but in my eyes it was worth a go. Now in part 1 of this story I mentioned I may lose a few followers and guess what? I did. I however bid them farewell, my parenting style works for my kids. They know when I say something I follow through. I don’t joke when it comes to them learning life lessons (yes I know they are young but in my opinion a child is never too young to start respecting).
So for now, I would have to say that this lesson has been taken on board and accepted. Lesson learnt! I know that this issue will arise again at some stage in the future and yes I will do the same thing again. For my kids and I, this works. It teaches them.
How do you teach your kids lesson in life? Does it work?