This is an open letter to the judging mum standing there pretending to be perfect and sweet. I have had many conversations with you in the past, all of which have been pleasant and while I wouldn’t say we are friends, I would say we interact in a friendly manner. This may be out of convenience or because we have mutual friends and it’s the polite thing to do. Your usual sweet and cheerful persona was different today though, you were judging and rude but quiet enough that only I heard.
As you know about a month ago I looked into joining the local gym to improve my fitness and as much as I would love to work off some excess weight from pregnancy; there are a couple of factors holding me back. One being the cost – at $22.95 per week, totalling just under $100 per month for 12 months. That is an obscene amount of money right now for me. The second is that I have a one year old at home with me, if Mr C is working she would then incur additional charges for creche. Just in case the initial gym fee wasn’t enough already.
The afternoon chit chat began as usual this afternoon with the ‘hey how was your weekend, get up to anything exciting, etc.’ Which somehow lead you to tell me I have had my hairdresser colouring my hair wrong and that I should not get the bottom coloured any more just just get the top done. (My hair is balayage – with darker on top and lightening until you get to the ends). You ‘judging mum’ were on a roll and the conversation changed as you asked me if I had been to the gym ‘yet‘. I emphasise the yet because you did. I replied with a pleasant but exhausted ‘No not as yet, I’ve been really busy lately’ to which you responded with a knarky “We’re all busy!” and you turned away.
I completely understand everyone is busy but I also understand that we all have different priorities and are in different stages of life. While you ‘judging mum’ have your youngest child in school 5 days a week, my youngest is 1. She is at home with me everyday of the week. You work but so do I. You have 2 children, I have 3; two of which I help with homework every afternoon during the week in addition to everything else that is required from me as a mother. We both have houses that need to be kept, bills to be paid and dinner to be cooked.
But before you judge me about how I choose to wear/cut/colour my hair or *shock horror* if I eat that cupcake and don’t go to the gym – know that if given the choice of spending my only 2 spare hours of day with my family or going to the gym, I will choose my husband and kids each and every time. They are my priority; not that it is any of your damn business!
Have you encountered a judging mum? How did you react?