Children can be so sweet and innocent but what happens when bullying at school changes them?
When bullies dig their claws in and that happiness is ripped away from your child?
Bullying is a problem so many children face and it is a delicate situation for all involved. Parents find it difficult to teach their child how to deal with bullies because they don’t want to give the wrong advice and it turn out worse for their child. In the same breath of air they don’t want their kid to be bullied at school.
Bullying At School – It shouldn’t happen but it does
My boys have been bullied in the past. Not terribly but bullied none the less. We taught them to be the bigger person, walk away. Don’t let the bully see that what they are saying is hurting you emotionally. Tell the teacher if it gets too much.
My boys survived, they got smarter, and they removed themselves from situations that could possibly result in the bullies picking on them.
But what happens when the emotional bullying turns to violence?
This happened to my 9 year old. He was being bullied by two older boys in his class, who were known throughout the school for bullying. Initially it was name calling here and there, throwing his belongings around but one day it turned violent. After weeks of being psychologically beaten down by his tormentors and him approaching the teacher for help, telling her what has been happening and nothing being done, my son was physically attacked.
Where were the teachers that were supposed to be standing up for him? Protecting him while he is in their care? I suspect not wanting to get involved due to ‘school politics’. So much for the anti bullying ‘Bully-Free Zone’ the school claims to have.
I understand they cannot act on every report a child comes to them about, particularly if they didn’t witness it. However when it is constant and you can see the emotional changes taking place before your eyes in a once very happy go lucky child, it should become a priority to at least investigate it.
After being punched my son did what he was told to do and tell the teacher. It landed on deaf ears. Nothing was done. It was at this point we changed our approach with how we told our son to deal with his bullies. It was clear that the school was not going to step up and fulfill it duty of care towards my child, therefore my 9 year old had to do it himself. He is not a child that likes confrontation and will try to avoid it at all costs so we didn’t like the odds.
Another week went by and my son asked for help from his educators repeatedly before he was hit in the head with a hockey stick, punched in the face and then kicked in the back of the head during class. Oh and I should mention that even after these events took place not one teacher stepped in to do a thing. To our surprise, our son got up and fought back.
Yes, he grabbed his bully and hit him back. A scuffle did occur between the two boys but it wasn’t until my son stood up to his bully and gave him a dose of his own medicine that a teacher decided to step in.
I received a phone call from the principle telling me that our son was involved in a fight and was to be suspended for a week. So was the other child but from where we stood, our son got suspended for standing up to his bully when no one else would help him. When no one else offered him support when he needed it most.
We as parents do not believe that violence is the answer however when your 9 year old is being tormented on a daily basis, something has to give. We could not be more proud of our son for standing up and challenging his bully. He has got his power back and they now know that he will not take their emotional or physical harassment anymore.
NB: This is not to be used as recommendation or advice. It is a recollection of events that occurred in our life. If you need help with your child please utilise the links below.
Has your child been bullied? Has your child been the bully? How did you deal with it?
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