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Parenting Isn’t QUITE What I Thought It Would Be…

Remember what you THOUGHT parenting would be like before you had kids? HA! How’s that working out for you?

Parenting isn’t QUITE what I thought it would be…

I remember.

I remember being SMUG as hell. Looking down my (pierced, covered in too much foundation) nose at parents whose kids were having tantrums in public. Pulling a self-satisfied smirk at people desperately plying their children with junk food in an effort to stem tears. Rolling my (heavy mascara under dangerously thin eyebrows) eyes at parents dressing their kids in merchandise clothing.

I would never be like that. NEVER.

We’d eat organic. We’d only play with wooden toys carved from a wholly sustainable forest by virginial Tibetan monks who only fart once a year. We’d read stories and talk calmly and create wonderful pillow forts inside. The house would be clean – I’d be at home all day, why wouldn’t it be? The pets would be well behaved. Life would just be…


mum and son smiling parenting is tough

I. Sucked.

Seriously, past self? Seriously? You thought you’d do it better, hmmm? Some snooty twenty-something who couldn’t organise her way out of a paper bag would magically be better equipped to raise children than ANYONE else? Jeez Louise, Christ on a cracker. Someone get this girl a solid dose of reality.

The reality of parenting

I love being a parent. I love everything about it (even the shitty bits. And I do mean shit in the literal sense, not the metaphorical one.) But it’s really hard and really frustrating and you never, ever, EVER feel like you’ve got EVERY aspect under control at all times.

They get sick. They yell. They cry. They behave like Tasmanian Devil children intent on whirling destruction and chaos. People give you their (unasked for) opinions on how you could basically perform your entire life better. You don’t sleep and even when you do you wake up in a panic, convinced the house had burned down.

My kid dresses top to toe in Paw Patrol shit. I’ve embraced minimalism out of necessity instead of choice. I live my life in active wear as I actively try to keep human beings alive all day.

Every toy in my house is either plastic, loud or lost. Last night’s dinner was cupcakes. My kids gather a crowd with their tantrums and I can’t remember the last time I pooed in private.

Expectation vs reality – what was your experience like?

Did you shift from what you thought parenting would be like to your ACTUAL experience? What would you tell your past, childless self if you could? Besides “stop over-plucking your eyebrows”?

This is a guest post by Lou.

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  1. 26/06/2017 / 7:01 am

    I never thought I’d be great, but as a parent of teenager, I’ve made decisions that I consider bad parenting but they’re the right decision for risk management ease of family life…it can take a while to get your head around that…

  2. 26/06/2017 / 8:00 am

    Just wait until they’re older girl! Watch your best efforts go belly-up then! ;D Teens are absolutely horrendous and their mess is beyond anything they dished out as youngsters. So is their noise…

  3. 26/06/2017 / 11:37 am

    I am with you, I had all these ideas about what sort of parent I would be and I am nothing like that! Just got to do the best you can do.

  4. Michelle (inthegoodbooksblog)
    26/06/2017 / 1:56 pm

    I had different ideas about how I would parent, but all that changed once I actually became one! I do really love being a parent though. It is so rewarding!!

  5. 26/06/2017 / 2:12 pm

    Ha ha, I’m sure lots of parents can relate! I had kids a bit later than a lot of my friends so I had lots of time to build up my presumption that I knew EVERYTHING about how to discipline kids. I knew nothing. And the fully organic diet lasted about 2 weeks with my first baby. And my ‘no terrible plastic Disney toys’ rule seems like a bizarre dream these days! I love the line ‘every toy in the house is plastic, loud or lost’ – great post 🙂

  6. 27/06/2017 / 7:10 am

    I had worked in childcare for couple of years before I had children, so much definitely had an idea of what it was going to be like… the shock of 24/7 having this dependent child though and no privacy was all too real!

  7. 27/06/2017 / 11:43 am

    So true! We got a puppy about 2 years before our first child was born. I remember my husband and I thinking we’d have plenty of experience by the time the baby came along because we had to get up in the middle of the night to let the dog out. Ummmm…not quite.

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