Parenting Styles: Which Mum Are You?

We’re all individual and, as a result, we seem to take on different parenting styles. They might be influenced by our own upbringing, our environment and our personality types. They might be shaped by conversations and structures that you’ve put in place with your partner (or on your own). They might be active choices or unconscious decisions.

Whatever the reason, lots of us seem to fall into the below categories. Ask yourself – what’s your parenting style? Here are some parenting styles that pop up quite often, do any of these seem familiar?

The “I’ve Got This” Parent

The Type-A personality. The perfect outfit 100% of the time. The itinerary of activities. The children who eat, sleep, talk and fart on cue. Clipboards, whistles, planners and apps – these parents have it all under wraps. (Accidental rhyming may also be an indicator that you are this type of parent)

They’re the head of the PTA, the organiser of the class gifts and the assistant coach all while running their own business and having (one can only assume) a great sex life. It’s easy to be jealous but remind yourself that all may not be as it seems. Maybe they have an average sex life.

The Hot Mess Mummy

She’s the antithesis to the perfect parent and we love her for it. Messy bun, tracksuit pants, DGAF attitude to class bake sales – she’s a hot mess and she makes it look a little hot.

But again, potentially it’s not all as it seems here either. Maybe she desperately wants to be more organised. Maybe she’s trying as hard as she possibly can but the wheels keep falling off. Hell, maybe her sex life is amazing and she just ain’t got time to worry about playground politics.

The Public Parent

Ah, the public parent (also known as the performative parent). The most loathed of all the parenting styles. This is the parent who LOUDLY and EMPHATICALLY parents their child in your earshot in an attempt to shame or embarrass what you’re doing with your own offspring.

An example? Sure. Imagine you’re sitting at a café and your child is enthusiastically eating. They’re joyfully smooshing their food at the high chair and being the little ray of sunshine they (mostly) are.

Enter the public parent. The public parent will begin talking to their infant in a LOUD voice. They’ll say things like this…

“Well, Delilah-Olivia-Patience-Grace. We would NEVER make such a naughty mess, would we? No, no, no. We have respect for things, don’t we? Yes, yes yes. We’re not messy, yucky children are we?” The Public Parent will then look in your direction, tutting, before pointedly staring back at her ‘perfect’ child. Just to let you know just how hard you’re failing in comparison.

The best way to approach the public parent is to not give them a second thought. And if this is your parenting style? Maybe ask yourself what you’re getting out of making other mothers feel like crap.

The “I’m Making This Up As I Go” Parent

The most relatable of the parenting styles. The “I’m Making This Up As I Go” parent readily admits that they don’t have all the answers. They’re open about their struggles and they welcome the (thoughtful and appropriate) ideas of others. They may not be first in line at the uniform shop or return all those forms back on time, but they’re trying their level best. Their kids like some things and hate other things with the fire of a thousand suns – and that’s okay. These parents know that we’re all individuals trying to get through this together.

Parenting Styles – Which One Are You?

Recognise any of these parenting styles?

Parenting judgement can come at us from all angles, even from ourselves. Let’s remember that we’re all in this together, regardless of style!

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