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What To Expect From Your Toilet When You Live With Males

What To Expect From Your Toilet When You Live With Males

What To Expect From Your Toilet When You Live With Males funny toilet story

Porcelain throne. Dunny. Loo. Oval office. Regardless what you call the humble toilet, there is always someone who pees on the floor!

A puddle of pee, sprinkles on the seat and empty toilet rolls are a common sight in my bathroom. As much as I try to will it away, it only seems to get worse the older my children get! Here are some things you should expect to see from your toilet when you live with boys….. of all ages.

~ This also applies to those with toilet training daughters!

What To Expect From Your Toilet When You Live With Males - funny toilet story

Toilet seat – Up or down?

Growing up in a house full of girls, the toilet seat was ALWAYS down because there were five females and only two males. They were outnumbered.

Unfortunately in my own home, with children of my own, I find that my sons (and occasionally my husband) will leave the seat up. This doesn’t irk me to the point of frustration. However, there is nothing worse than going to toilet in the middle of night only to have my bum fall further into the bowl than it should and have that cold, wet porcelain touch my bum cheeks. Not only is it disgusting but for that split second of extended arse free-falling, my life flashes before my eyes!

While the seat up or down argument isn’t a make or break in my home, for some it is painful and bordering torturous! This is no surprise though when 2 in 5 males put it down 50% of the time or less because they ‘forget’ or just can’t be bothered! *  To the other 59% of males who put it down most or every time – kudos to you!

Skid marks – yes I’m going there!

I don’t like looking at my own remains, why on Earth do my sons think I want to see theirs? Or scrub them clean for that matter? Don’t even get me started on them emerging from the toilet to explain in detail the graphic nature of what they just experienced. I don’t want OR need to know!

Moral of the story boys, scrub clean when you are done.

What To Expect From Your Toilet When You Live With Males - funny toilet story

Urine – a wet area…. of sorts

The bathroom isn’t called a wet area so you can just pee wherever you like. Ok so they aren’t quite that bad, but still. I don’t want to stand in puddles or have to wipe the seat before I sit down.

Aim it; get it in the bowl you say? What aim! You would think after having a hose to point exactly where they need the stream to go, they would be able to get it right. This applies to boys and men. You know how to use it, if you can’t…. then sit like the rest of us!

After experiencing a toilet training daughter, I am not sure there is any hope left that the floor or seat will remain dry, ever. While I am struggling to determine which sex is worse when it comes to toilet mess, I think I’m still leaning towards the males.

Cleaning the throne

While 51% of Australian’s try to avoid cleaning the toilet*, I prefer this chore over the scrubbing showers. What I do not like though, is that wearing gumboots and rubber gloves is an OHS requirement.

Just like you and every other Aussie, I will spend an average of 6.26 hours each year cleaning toilets.* This includes scrubbing of stains, wiping off germs and urine and returning the porcelain to its former sparkling self.

What a mundane way to spend 6 hours a year! This could have been better used to binge watch some Netflix or appreciate a hot coffee. But alas, it must be done. At the risk of sounding like a midday TV commercial; because I would much prefer to enjoy my time doing anything other than clean my toilet, I’ve started using Bref rim-blocks to take care of the in-between clean. The hygenic foam provides not only cleanliness, it also has anti limescale property, removes stains and offers a fresh fragrance. In short, this product gives the perception I have just cleaned even though I have really just had a coffee with friends.

What To Expect From Your Toilet When You Live With Males

Whether you are a man who puts the seat down to avoid an argument or one who pees behind the seat, please just take the extra few seconds and either aim before you shoot or clean up the spillage in aisle 6 before you leave.

For full disclosure, I am not a Susie Homemaker type. I am a sarcastic, cleaning hating, life hacks lover. If I can find something to reduce the amount of work I have to do, I’ll try it!

What is your pet peeve when it comes to toilets? 

*According to a recent/ 2016 Bref commissioned study.

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2 Comments

  1. 24/06/2016 / 11:32 am

    We luckily have two toilets and my husband tends to attend to his base needs in one and my (toilet training) daughter and I mostly use the other. We have a ring insert seat that has made life easier but next week I’m heading to IKEA for a step stool!

  2. Rebecca H
    24/06/2016 / 4:10 pm

    I love the saying “What does your loo say about you”! The Bref rim-blocks sound and look good.

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